There seems to be an endless supply of services for helping babies get started on the right foot.
Helping babies feed better. Helping babies sleep better. Helping babies reach milestones.
But what about mom? New moms often need help juggling all of the new responsibilities that come with a new baby, but unless there is a medical problem, they're often left to figure it out on their own.
Enter Anna Gallup and Motion in Motherhood.
Anna realized she could use her skills and training as an occupational therapist to break down the everyday responsibilities and activities of motherhood and help new moms find ways to better manage their day to day lives with confidence.
I recently had a chance to talk to Anna about what she does and how she empowers new moms. Read a little of what we talked about below!
First of all, can you just give me an overview of the services you provide?
Motion in Motherhood is a holistic practice rooted in occupational therapy that is designed to empower expecting and new moms during their postpartum journey. We address:
-pain prevention and alleviation
-lactation and feeding support
-realistic goal-setting using time management and energy conservation techniques
-return to meaningful activities (intimacy, work, self-care, etc.) with decreased anxiety and sense of overwhelm
How do your services differ from other providers like a postpartum doula?
Our services help empower new moms by prioritizing their experience and helping them to achieve their postpartum goals from the start.
We take into consideration each mom's environment, support system, mental health, and physical abilities when setting goals and during all treatment sessions.
This holistic practice (rooted in occupational therapy) allows for us to break down individual activities and rebuild them in a way that is both achievable and realistic for mom.
For example, if mom is experiencing difficulties breastfeeding her infant, has neck pain, and is overwhelmed by her new routine, we would formulate individualized goals which address each concern and would help her to modify her routine to feel successful and confident - while preventing pain and overwhelm.
When is the best time for someone to begin working with you?
I highly recommend an initial visit during the 3rd trimester to help mom prepare for her transition into motherhood. Whether or not you complete this session before baby arrives, I recommend all moms schedule an evaluation within the first few weeks postpartum, and from there, we will schedule follow up sessions to ensure mom's goals are achieved.
Is it ever "too late" for a mom to benefit from your services?
No. Many say, "once postpartum, always postpartum." If you're a parent and are experiencing physical pain during your daily routine, having difficulty nourishing your child, feeling overwhelmed or anxious, having difficulty prioritizing yourself, or having trouble accomplishing meaningful activities and tasks, Motion in Motherhood is here for you.
How often do you meet with clients? Are you available virtually?
I recommend 1 visit before baby arrives, 1 evaluation postpartum, and typically 3-5 visits following the evaluation to ensure all of mom's goals are met and she is feeling confident in all areas. Because sessions are individually tailored to mom's goals, fewer or more sessions can be completed after the evaluation.
All sessions are currently offered virtually as well as in mom's home (depending on location).
What does a typical visit or session look like? What can clients expect?
During the 3rd trimester, we address what mom's transition into motherhood may look like. We discuss topics such as role transitions, breastfeeding, mental health changes that can occur postpartum, and how to effectively navigate those early postpartum days and weeks. We will create a postpartum plan together including goals, self-care strategies, and support systems available during the postpartum transition.
Our initial evaluation is completed postpartum (ideally within the first 1-3 weeks). During the evaluation, a thorough medical history is taken, feeding is assessed if desired, and together we formulate goals and a plan to help mom progress, ensuring her needs are met and that she is also being well cared for during her transition into early motherhood.
We will then complete several follow up sessions which include specialized education and practice, ensuring mom is able to accomplish her goals in a way that is both physically and emotionally fulfilling.
I got the call early one morning that my birth client was in labor and was 5 cm dilated at her last cervical check.
I made sure my husband was good to go with our kids before I threw my equipment in the car and headed to the birth center.
I arrived at about the same time as a few family members who were coming to welcome the new baby. Dad met us all at the door and said that mom was going to try to rest. She had been laboring all night and wanted to try to get some sleep before the big finale, and she didn't want anyone to come in to the birth center just yet.
The others debated going out to get breakfast or coffee or maybe stopping by a store. Someone looked over at me and said, "What about you? What are you going to do while she sleeps?"
I said, "Oh, I'm fully prepared for this. It happens to me all the time."
Have you ever wondered how I could possibly prepare to be with a birthing client when I have no idea how long I will need to be there or what I do if mom needs to rest or nap?
Well, I'm giving you a sneak peek behind the scenes and showing you what I pack in my birth bag!
This is a bag I pack in addition to my camera bag with all of my actual photography equipment.
I'm currently on call for a birth now, so I grabbed my birth bag and took a picture of the contents to share with you.
This little toddler sized pillow has saved my neck on quite a few occasions. I have napped in my car while a laboring mom is trying to rest. I have taken quick naps on waiting room couches when I have been at hospital births in the middle of the night. I usually leave it in my car unless I actually need it, but I always have it with me just in case.
2. Manual Breast Pump
My youngest is over a year old and does not take bottles, but he still nurses when I'm home with him. I keep a small manual pump with me just in case I'm at a birth for a long time and need to pump to relieve some discomfort.
3. Change of Clothes
There's no way to know where I will be when I get the call to go to a birth. I might be at the gym or at the pool with my kids. This birth bag goes in the car with me every time I leave my house when I'm on call, so I also keep clothes in case I need to change. This is my typical uniform that I wear for births: my favorite #birthphotographer tee, a comfy pair of leggings (or jeggings in this case), a sweater in case I get chilly (most often happens in hospital births), and my Bobs shoes with the memory foam insoles (so comfortable when I'm at a birth).
A big part of being a birth photographer is just waiting. I'm not going to be taking photos every second of birth and sometimes mom wants to rest and I'll go find a seat and keep myself busy. I crochet, so I often keep a project with me to work on during these times. I also have a Kindle with several books loaded. I normally prefer real books, but a Kindle comes in really handy for keeping multiple books with me at a birth.
5. Phone Accessories
Gotta keep that phone charged and I keep earbuds with me too. Sometimes I listen to podcasts or music while I'm waiting at a birth.
6. Hair Tie and Lip Balm
Pretty self-explanatory. Sometimes we women just need these things!
This is a really important one. When I'm at a birth for a long time, I have to eat to keep my energy up. I'll usually step out of the room for a second and shove a snack in my face and step right back in. Sometimes I have the opportunity to run out and grab food when I need it, but I always keep snacks on hand.
Tell me in the comments, what is your favorite book? I might need some new recommendations to download on my Kindle!
When I talk to a mama-to-be who is interested in birth photography, there is a phrase I hear over and over again...
Now I just have to convince my husband.
Sorry fellas, but I'm throwing you under the bus a little bit here. Dads are often the hang up when it comes to birth photography.
I get it though.
Maybe you just don't like having your picture taken.
Maybe you're a little nervous about this whole impending birth thing.
Maybe you're not sure how you feel about the idea of another person (especially one with a camera) being in the room.
Maybe you just don't understand why she wants photos of that or why a few iPhone shots aren't enough.
Can I tell you something?
It's OKAY. My husband actually feels the exact same way.
Yep. You read that right... The man who is married to a birth photographer doesn't really get it, but when it came to hiring a photographer for our last baby's birth, he realized that it was really important and special to ME.
And I'm special to him, so he came around.
I asked one of my past birth client dads if I could talk to him a little bit about his experience hiring me to photograph the birth of his first baby girl. I hope his perspective might help you keep an open mind when your wife tells you she's interested in hiring a photographer.
1. What was your first reaction to hearing about birth photography?
I thought it was a great idea. This way we could treasure those memories.
2. Did you have any hesitations about hiring a birth photographer?
I did not have any hesitations - as long as my wife was comfortable with it. That's all that mattered to me in that decision.
3. What ultimately convinced you to hire a photographer?
I wanted to have a professional take the pictures of such a special moment in our lives instead of asking an inexperienced family member to take pictures.
4. What was the experience like having a photographer present at the birth?
Having a photographer at the birth was a great experience! With everything going on during labor and with the right photographer, you'll forget that a photographer was even there with you.
5. What photos were your favorite from the birth?
My favorites were of my wife with our newborn, my wife while progressing through labor, and the ones of my wife and I.
6. Would you recommend birth photography to another family considering it?
I would absolutely recommend it to any couples that cherish memories. It's such an amazing thing to be able to look back at those photos and remember all of those emotions and what a happy moment it was.
7. What advice do you have for someone about to be a dad for the first time?
Everything will be fine and take it one step at a time. Having a baby join the family can be stressful when you start to worry about everything that can happen, but I recommend to stay thinking positive all the time and things will work out fine.
It's one of those big, ugly words that you don't know much about, and you hope you never have to find out.
Then if it does happen to you, you're suddenly thrust into a world with way too much information.
The worst part? Most of your family and friends are still in the don't-know-much-about-it camp and it's hard for them to relate or understand.
I put together this very basic guide to help give you an idea of what the infertility world is like. If you're starting to think that you may be having fertility struggles or if you have a loved one who is currently suffering from infertility and you just want some information to help you understand, I hope this helps.
This information is compiled from the following websites (plus a little touch of my own personal experience): Coastal Fertility Specialists, Resolve: The National Infertility Association, and the American Pregnancy Association.
What is infertility?
Infertility is a disease which causes an inability to conceive a viable pregnancy after 12 months of regular, unprotected sex. This can also include the ability to achieve pregnancy but suffering from recurrent miscarriages.
This disease affects 1 in 8 couples, so there's a good chance you know someone who suffers from infertility - even if you're not aware of it.
There are also families who suffer from secondary infertility. In this case, the couple is suffering from infertility after successfully conceiving previous children without medical assistance.
What causes infertility?
Infertility can be caused by a wide range of underlying issues from physical problems to hormonal irregularities. It can be caused by issues with either the female partner or the male partner or a combination of both.
For men, there's really only one thing that needs to be checked: the sperm. There are 3 characteristics of semen that are checked when a couple is facing fertility challenges -
1. Sperm Count: Are there enough swimmers?
2. Sperm Motility: Do they swim and function correctly in a healthy/normal way?
3. Sperm Morphology: Are they shaped correctly or are there abnormalities/deformities?
For women, fertility challenges can be more complicated. There are several different checkpoints in the reproductive system where things could go wrong. The uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries all have specific parts to play in the reproductive process - not to mention the hormones that keep it all working.
This is just a short sampling of the possible causes for female infertility: Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), Endometriosis, uterine abnormalities, fibroid tumors, luteal phase defect, ovulatory disorders caused by hormone problems, premature ovarian failure, a blockage in the fallopian tubes, etc.
When should you consider seeking medical help?
There are some symptoms and conditions that may warrant medical help sooner, but the general rule is:
If you are under the age of 35 and have been having regular, unprotected sex for at least 1 year without successfully conceiving,
If you are over the age of 35 and have been having regular, unprotected sex for at least 6 months without successfully conceiving, you may want to speak to your OBGYN.
The first step is usually the OBGYN. He or she can often run some preliminary tests to rule out any obvious issues and can sometimes treat more minor causes of infertility. If your condition requires further assistance, you will be referred to a fertility specialist.
What is a fertility specialist?
A fertility specialist is a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE).
REs are experts in the field of infertility. Just like any other field of medicine, different doctors will have different approaches and treatment plans. You will want to find the RE that you feel most comfortable with.
Don't be afraid to ask questions. Ask about success rates and treatment options. Ask about the embryologists, ultrasound techs, and other medical professionals involved in the process. Ask about ANY concerns you have. This is a huge decision and not one you should take lightly.
What can you expect when you first visit a fertility specialist?
Your first visit will likely be information overload. Bring something to take notes and a list of questions you might have.
You'll go over your medical history and the events that led you to the fertility specialist's office in the first place. They may have further questions about other medical events, like thyroid problems, that could be related.
The doctor should go over all of the tests you will need and the possible treatment plans. You may also meet with the financial advisor in the office who will go over typical treatment costs as well as any possible insurance coverage and financing options.
What treatment options are available?
Treatment will be entirely dependent on what is causing the infertility in the first place.
Many people have heard of in vitro fertilization (IVF) where sperm and eggs are retrieved and embryos are created in a lab before being transferred back to the mother's uterus, but they may not know that there is a whole battery of other treatment options depending on the situation.
There are surgeries available that can correct uterine abnormalities. Medicines can be used to treat hormone issues or some ovulation disorders.
A procedure called intrauterine insemination (IUI) is sometimes used where sperm is taken from the father and injected directly into the uterus of the mother, who has sometimes been given medication to induce ovulation when necessary.
The most invasive and most expensive treatment is the one most people have heard about. IVF is a long process of hormones, egg retrievals, and sperm samples followed by creating embryos. Then if all of that is successful, the mother has to prepare her body with hormones for the implantation of the embryo.
There are some diagnoses that require skipping straight to IVF, but often couples who are going through IVF have tried other treatment options first.
This information is just a very small glimpse into the world of infertility. The truth is every case is different because every couple facing infertility has their own unique combination of medical causes. Some couples will respond well to less invasive treatments and conceive quickly with treatment. Others will go through years of different treatments before finally finding something that works.
If someone you love has trusted you enough to share their plans to seek fertility treatment, the most important thing to know is that they have likely already been through a lot of frustration and disappointment and heartbreak before coming to this point. You may only see this one part of their story that they are sharing. You may not know everything that has been going on under the surface.
A little bit of grace and a lot of love and support go a long way.
If you are in the beginning of your infertility journey and have any questions, please reach out. I would be happy to answer any questions I can or tell you the best person to ask if I can't!
Alright, show of hands...
Have you ever suffered (or are you currently suffering) from any of these problems during pregnancy?
-Back and hip pain
-Round Ligament Pain
-Pubic Symphysis Pain
I'm guessing every woman who has ever had a baby is holding her hand up right now, am I right?
In our society today, we have normalized the idea that pregnancy is just painful and uncomfortable and generally just unpleasant.
But what if I told you, it doesn't have to be that way?
What if I told you there was a way to help reduce many of those symptoms and, in some cases, eliminate them altogether?
What are some of the benefits of chiropractic care during pregnancy?
Decreased stress, stronger immune system, increased blood flow to the baby, reduction of hormonal symptoms such as nausea and fatigue, reduction in labor time, avoidance or reduction of common pregnancy complaints such as reflux, carpal tunnel, sciatica, dizziness, and constipation, and giving the baby the maximum amount of space to move and rotate.
Everyone experiences pregnancy differently so the adjustments we do will depend on what's going on with the individual mom!
When is the ideal time to begin getting adjusted in pregnancy?
The most ideal time is before you get pregnant! Starting pregnancy with your body in a state of wellness sets you up for the healthiest pregnancy possible.
The next best time to start is today! Don't let your pain get crippling before you seek care. Take action right away and end the suffering.
We also take proactive measures to prevent intrauterine constraint and focus on getting your pelvis ready for labor.
Pregnancy should feel amazing!
How often should a patient get adjustments during pregnancy?
This is super dependent on your state of health and your goals. If you are super healthy and want to get your body and nervous system ready for labor, your adjustments will probably be once a week.
If you're in pain and there is stress on your nervous system, you may start at a few times a week.
Pregnancy has a finish line, so it also depends on how much time you have left in the pregnancy. If you come in with big goals and only a few weeks or a month left, we will see you much more often than if you came in with those same goals at 20 weeks.
Is it ever too late to start getting adjusted?
Well, if you're in labor already...
Your body takes time to heal. You can see improvements with a few adjustments, but there are limitations to what we can get done in a short amount of time. It's better to start earlier and make sure there's enough time to reach your goals.
What should an expecting mother look for or ask when searching for the right chiropractor?
Ask if pregnancy is a main focus of their office. We all took that one pregnancy adjusting class in school. You want a doctor who has gone above and beyond with their education geared around pregnancy and post-natal care. Also, you want a doctor who has the right tools and equipment to accommodate your growing belly!
What should someone expect when they come to see you for care during pregnancy? What does a typical visit look like?
We always start by assessing your nervous system and adjusting your spine. These adjustments may be with our hands, using the table's drops, or using an adjusting instrument.
The type of adjustment we utilize all depends on your body and your comfort level. All the adjustments we do are completely safe for you and your baby!
As we adjust, we take a look at important soft tissue structures on your back, around your pelvis, and in your belly. Releasing tight and stiff muscles can be the key to not only helping you hold your adjustments, but also to help in reducing any tension on your uterus.
We look at not only the soft tissue connecting the bones and uterus but also any soft tissue around the pelvis that could prevent it from opening symmetrical. Having not only the hard tissue but also the soft tissue alignment can help reduce labor times by making sure that baby engages the cervix symmetrically.
Everything is super gentle - not painful - and we explain and discuss everything with you as you go.
What about postpartum? What are the benefits of continuing care after birth? How soon after birth can a mother begin getting adjusted again?
I always joke with moms that after you have the baby, everything has to "fall back" into your pre-pregnancy position. Although, if you've been through this postpartum stage, you know that things never go back to the same place.
Adjustments do help your body recover and find balance again after you bring your little baby into the world. Helping your body realign after nine months of really big changes can be a game changer for some women.
A lot of postpartum women tell me that they recover faster and easier than their pregnancies where they didn't have chiropractic care afterwards.
This is also a great time to get the new little baby checked too. Birth is super stressful, not only on mom, but on our tiny babies too. Getting your kiddo checked early can help them avoid problems later.
You can get adjusted as soon as you feel ready to come into the office after having your baby. I have women wait anywhere from four days to up to two weeks to come in and get their next adjustment.
I personally know I was adjusted the day I gave birth and so was my baby!
A huge thank you to Dr. Angela for taking the time to answer my questions! I highly recommend her and her husband, Dr. Chris, if you're currently searching for a chiropractor for your family. Their office is located in West Ashley and my whole family has come to love their practice.
And if you take anything from this interview, let it be this: DON'T WAIT! I'm one of those people that waited until I was suffering every day before seeking help. I wish I had taken action sooner and saved myself the pain!
My mom is forever telling me that parents nowadays have all kinds of “new fangled” lingo for everything we do.
Like Fresh 48.
Have you ever heard of a Fresh 48?
It’s a newborn photo session done within the first 48 hours of the baby’s life. It usually takes place at the hospital or place of birth and captures those precious early days of getting to know your little one.
I know most of you are probably thinking, “Oh yeah… they have a photographer at the hospital that comes around and does those pictures.”
And you’re right. Most hospitals have a contracted photographer that randomly shows up at your door at some point during your stay to ask if you would like photos of your baby.
But did you know that you can hire a photographer in advance to do a Fresh 48 session?
There are some major perks to hiring your own photographer.
Just think about it:
-You will work with the photographer to choose what time would be best for your session. When you know in advance, you can take a little time to shower or freshen up before your session begins.
-You can discuss your preferences beforehand and what photos you would really like to have.
-You can arrange to have older siblings or any other special family members you want included present at the time of the planned photo session.
It’s a win all around.
Those first days with your baby are so precious, but they’re also a blur of nurses and visitors and feedings and vitals checks and paperwork…
Hiring a photographer to come and capture photos as you take time to really soak in those moments as a new family will give you memories you can look back on long after your baby is grown.
For something that's supposed to be "natural," breastfeeding can be really hard - especially in the very beginning.
You're exhausted and constantly second-guessing yourself.
Even with my 3rd baby - after having successfully breastfed my first two kids well beyond a year - I still had moments when I wondered if I was doing everything right and if baby was getting enough in those early days.
Everyone has their own personal goals for breastfeeding. Those goals might even change as you get started on your journey and that's okay too.
There's advice all over the internet on the best ways to have success with breastfeeding, but honestly, there are a lot of things that work for some babies that don't work for others. Sometimes you just have to figure it out through trial and error, but there are a few things I've learned along the way with breastfeeding 3 different babies.
1-Read up on what's normal
Y'all - newborn babies are just a whole species all their own. They don't follow the rules of normal human behavior.
For example, when an adult eats, it's usually because they're hungry. I mean - I know there are some people who have emotional eating issues that cause them to eat when they aren't truly hungry, but for the most part hungry = eating. (By the way... it's me. I'm some people...)
But newborns aren't like that. They nurse when they're hungry, but they also nurse when they're tired or scared or in pain or when their body is preparing for a growth spurt or any other number of reasons. It sometimes feels like they are eating ALL. THE. TIME. in the early days and it can make you wonder if there's something wrong.
I recommend educating yourself on what is NORMAL newborn breastfeeding behavior, so when you randomly have a day when your nursling will not get off your boob, you'll recognize cluster feeding and reassure yourself that your babe is healthy and growing.
I personally recommend The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding, and kellymom.com.
2-Find your village
They say it takes a village, right? Breastfeeding is no different.
However, you need to find the right village. I have lots of mom friends who make a lot of different parenting choices from me and I love them all! Every mom has to do what's best for herself and her family, but that includes me too.
I have lots of friends who exclusively use disposable diapers, but I don't ask them questions about my cloth diaper wash cycle.
In the same way, I have some amazing mom friends who formula feed, but I don't ask them breastfeeding questions.
You need to find moms who have met the goals you are trying to meet and who understand the different struggles and concerns you might have.
With my first, I knew I wanted to breastfeed for at least 6 months. I didn't really know anyone who had done that successfully. I had a few family members who had breastfeed for a few weeks or the first few months, but never quite that long.
I initially found my village online but eventually became friends with many of them in real life. The right village can answer your questions, encourage you when you think you're doing everything wrong, recommend the best lactation consultants, and help you find breastfeeding-friendly pediatricians.
We are very lucky here in the Charleston area to have an awesome La Leche League group. There are in person meetings throughout the Lowcountry and an active Facebook group to help you find your village.
3-Don't quit in the first 6 weeks
This might be the hardest piece of advice to follow. I don't even remember who told me this anymore, but I remember someone telling me to make small goals and just get through the first 6 weeks.
When you are nursing around the clock and your nipples are sore and you feel like you'll never sleep again, the thought of nursing for a full year can be downright terrifying.
But if you just tell yourself to get through this one day - one week - 6 weeks, it's not so overwhelming.
I'm not sure what it is about that 6 week mark, but something shifts around that time. If you can hang in there, you'll likely find that you're finally getting the hang of this breastfeeding thing and the thought of continuing won't be so daunting.
After that, your next goal can be to make it to 12 weeks. Then maybe 6 months. Then a year or whatever works best for you.
So breastfeeding mamas, what was the best advice you received?
It's the second question people ask when you're pregnant.
First, they ask when you're due and then they always follow it up with, "Do you know what you're having?"
It wasn't so very long ago that finding out the sex of your baby during pregnancy wasn't even an option. My parents' generation had no choice but to be surprised unless they had some complication that required an ultrasound.
However, when anatomy scans became the standard of care around 20 weeks, more and more people began finding out the sex of their babies before birth. This new practice led to the rise of the ever-divisive gender reveal party (Personally, I'm a fan of any reason to party and have cake).
While finding out the sex during pregnancy is still very common, I have noticed a trend among my own friends and acquaintances back to keeping it a surprise.
I've personally done it both ways - we found out the sex with our first two and our third, tie-breaker baby was a surprise.
If you aren't sure which approach you want to take, I thought I would break down some of the pros and cons from both experiences here to help you decide.
Finding Out During Pregnancy
Pro: Picking a name
If you're anything like my husband and me, you struggle to choose names together. I grew up with a fairly uncommon name, so I like unusual names. My husband grew up with an extremely common name and likes really traditional names. He thinks the names I like are weird, and I think the names he likes are boring. When you know the sex of the baby beforehand, you only have to choose a name for one sex instead of having to agree on two different names.
Con: They might be wrong
I know this sounds like one of those outlandish stories that never really happens, but I actually know of a few people personally who were told the wrong gender. Can you imagine planning and preparing for a girl only to find out at birth it's a boy?
If you're a Type A person, the planning aspect of finding out will really appeal to you. I'm not a Type A by any stretch of the imagination, but I am a creative and love making things for my babies. I loved crocheting adorable little baby sweaters and headbands for my daughter and sewing custom curtains with tractors on them for my son's nursery. There's still plenty of planning and organizing to do when you don't find out, but knowing the sex just gives you one more piece of information to work with.
Con: Everyone's opinions
Every pregnant mama knows that being pregnant opens you up to everyone's opinions about everything - and the sex of your baby is no exception. When I was pregnant with my first son and people found out I was having a boy after already having a girl, they almost always said, "Lucky you! You get to be done already!"
It drove me absolutely nuts. I always wanted more kids and the genitalia they possessed had absolutely nothing to do with whether or not I wanted more kids. I would have been just as thrilled had I been having another girl at that time, but I know people would have instead said, "Oh... are you going to try again for a boy?"
Then, of course, they give their opinions on the names you've chosen and everything else. Once the baby is here and named, most people are too busy cooing over the beautiful new baby for all that mess... although some people will still drive you nuts.
Being Surprised at Birth
Pro: The moment of birth
This is honestly the big reason most people give for keeping it a surprise. It really does add a certain extra level of excitement during labor knowing that you're about to finally find out who you've been carrying all this time. Also, everyone's reactions to whether they were right or wrong in their guesses is really fun. (For the record: I have been 100% wrong for all 3 of my kids. That whole mother's intuition thing just does not work for me when it comes to guessing the sex of my babies apparently)
Con: Gender disappointment
This isn't something that happens to everyone, but gender disappointment is real and it's normal. Some people have very valid reasons for hoping for one sex over another, and when that doesn't happen, it can be disappointing. I know moms say that once the baby is here, you don't care anymore, but I would never want to risk my first reaction to my newborn baby being one of disappointment if I could help it.
Also, moms aren't the only ones at risks of feeling disappointed. We are done having children, but if I were to ever have any more, I would seriously consider finding out for my daughter's sake. She has always wanted a sister, but instead she has 2 little brothers. She absolutely adores them, but if she were to find out she would have a 3rd little brother, I think she might need some time to adjust to that news.
Pro: Gender neutral stuff is getting a lot cuter
Long gone are the days of harsh yellow being the only option for gender neutral baby items. Baby items now come in a wide variety of gender neutral color and pattern options. Just check out this photo of my surprise baby visiting with his big brother in the hospital after he was born:
Con: Limited shopping
If you ask my husband, this is actually a pro. I loved shopping for my babies when I was pregnant. I always got plenty of gifts from family and friends, but I enjoyed picking out a few outfits and items that were especially my style. With my surprise baby, I bought a few things because I knew he would need to wear something for a few weeks before I had a chance to get a more specific wardrobe, but I really didn't shop as much. Every time I would go to buy something for the baby, I kept thinking to myself I'd rather just wait until I knew what sex the baby was and buy more clothes then.
Overall, I honestly don't think either experience was better than the other. I bonded just fine with all 3 babies and enjoyed pregnancy each time. Both experiences were really fun in their own ways, so if you feel strongly that you want to find out or keep it a surprise, go for it.
If you're truly on the fence and don't know which way you want to go and this list didn't heavily influence you one way or the other, I'd say keep it a surprise just for the heck of it. It is really fun keeping everyone guessing until the very end.
I know what it feels like.
You see all of these beautiful birth photos on Facebook, but you struggle to find anything that represents your birth experience.
C-sections are often under represented in birth photography for a variety of reasons -
-Photographers can often be blocked from entering the operating room, especially if the c-section is unplanned or an emergency.
-You might think that a planned c-section means everything will be more organized and it will be easier to just have your husband take photos.
-Or maybe you don't even know that having a c-section birth photographed is an option because you've never seen it done!
Well, I'm here to tell you that having a photographer for your c-section is an option and you definitely want one!
First of all, if your husband is the only person with you in the OR and is in charge of the camera, who takes a picture of him seeing his baby for the first time? Or him kissing your forehead while you wait for that first cry?
Having a photographer present frees up your hubby to relax and be in the moment with you.
Also, I always tell moms that the day your baby is born will go by in a blur and you'll be surprised how many moments you miss. This is true for c-sections as well and maybe even moreso in some cases.
Most hospitals nowadays do skin to skin with mom in the OR, but there are still a lot of things you may miss behind the curtain - baby being weighed and measured, dad holding the baby, other family members seeing the baby, etc etc etc.
And finally, your birth story deserves to be told. Your baby's birth day will be one of the most memorable days of your life. No matter how it goes down, you'll revisit your memories of this day many times over the course of your life. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have photos to look back on too?
In honor of Cesarean Awareness Month, I'm giving 2 moms-to-be the opportunity to have a birth photographer at their scheduled c-section for HALF PRICE!
My birth photography services for planned c-sections include:
*In person consultation in your third trimester
*Me being on call in the weeks leading up to your scheduled c-section just in case you go into labor earlier than planned
*Backup photographer just in case of some personal emergency
*Photo coverage from the time you arrive at the hospital through your delivery and for approximately 2 hours afterwards
*Slideshow video of your birth photos
*Full gallery download of high resolution photos from your birth
Normally, my birth photography packages start at $1200, but for 2 lucky mamas, I'll provide this service for only $600!
What do you have to do to receive this awesome discount? Glad you asked -
-You must be having a SCHEDULED c-section in May, June, or July 2019.
-You must agree to get permission from your OBGYN to have a photographer present during your birth - including permission to be in the OR.
-You must sign a model release allowing me to use your photos for marketing purposes (I will allow you to view the gallery and let you know what photos I plan to use before posting any publicly).
Ready to apply? Click here and fill out the short application!
Sitting in the hospital bed, staring at my new perfect baby boy, I really started to realize just how dramatic the last few hours had been…
“Well… that escalated quickly.”
When I woke up that morning, I just felt… off.
I don’t really know how else to explain it. Nothing in particular was wrong - I just felt run down and had no appetite.
I dropped my daughter (known here as Bug) off at school and decided to have a shamelessly lazy day with my toddler (a.k.a. Bubba). We stayed home all day and watched far more Daniel Tiger than I care to admit.
After school, I took advantage of the beautiful weather we were having that day and sat in my driveway while my kids played. My dad stopped by to see the kids for a little while and my husband came home from work shortly after. By that time, some of the other kids in our neighborhood were out playing too, so I left the men outside with the kids while I went in to try to rest.
As I was dozing on the couch wondering how I would possibly muster the energy to make dinner, I felt what I thought might be a contraction. It was definitely stronger than the Braxton Hicks I’d been having for weeks, but not exactly painful either. Another came several minutes later. Then a third…
During the third, I felt a painful pop in my pelvis. I don’t think I realized exactly what happened, but something in me started to think “GET OFF THE COUCH!”
As soon as I got up, my water gushed in true Hollywood fashion. I looked at the clock and it was about 5:30 PM.
I waddled to the front door and yelled out into the yard at my husband.
I told him I wasn’t in a hurry and that he could take a shower if he wanted.
Contractions started pretty much immediately and were 2-3 minutes apart right from the start.
I contacted my photographer to let her know what was happening and then put in a call to the after hours line at the OB’s office.
(And yes… I notified my photographer before the doctor because #priorities)
By the time my husband finished his quick shower, my contractions were already 1-2 minutes apart and I was groaning and really having to focus to breathe through them.
Even though I hadn’t heard back from the on-call OB yet, I decided we probably needed to go ahead and make our way to the hospital. Thankfully, my dad was still there, so we could leave the kids with him and my mom met us at the hospital.
We arrived at the hospital just a little before 7 pm, which is when shift change happens for the nurses. The current nurse hooked me up to the monitors to wait until they finished shift change. When the OB came in to check me, it was about 7:30 and I was 3 cm and 80% effaced.
I was moved to my delivery room. At this point, contractions were still 1-2 minutes apart and painful, but I was managing pretty well. Over the next hour, the contractions intensified and I was feeling more pressure in my pelvis. My husband suggested that I should ask to be checked again, but I really didn’t want that. If you’ve read either of my other children’s birth stories (here and here), you’ll know that my cervix has a history of not really cooperating in labor. I had a lot of anxiety about cervical checks. I was terrified of hearing that there was no change.
My husband kept reassuring me and I finally agreed. I was checked again just before 9:00 - 4 cm.
Not major progress, but progress nonetheless.
The photographer arrived around that time and things were really starting to ramp up.
I was struggling during contractions now. I was crying and when contractions peaked, I often said I couldn’t do it anymore. My husband just kept holding my hand and my mom wiped my face with a wet rag while they talked me through each one.
Between contractions, I was able to take a couple of deep breaths and calm myself. During contractions, I couldn’t think clearly through the pain, but in the short breaks between, I could recognize the signs of progress -
-The nurses kept having to move the monitors lower and lower on my belly to find baby’s heart rate because he was moving down.
-I was starting to feel nauseated at the peak of each contraction, which is a sign of approaching the transition stage of labor.
It had been less than an hour, but the OB asked if she could check me again. I declined at first because, again, I was scared. I was really struggling mentally with these contractions and I was afraid that if I heard there was no progress, I would completely lose it.
At this point my husband stepped in and told me he really wanted me to get checked. With my previous births, he was so anxious and seemed so unsure of everything. This time he was so calm and reassuring. He reminded me that he has seen me give birth before and he could tell that this time was different. He knew I was scared from my previous experiences and needed to hear that this wasn’t the same.
The OB checked me again a little before 10:00 and I was 7 cm and 90% effaced.
I was THRILLED! This was happening! I could do this!
My excitement didn’t last long. My labor pattern changed very suddenly. I was no longer getting any break at all between contractions. I wasn’t able to get that little break to catch my breath and calm myself anymore. I started to panic, which made my heart race.
At the same time, the baby’s heart rate started dropping really low during contractions. The nurses were struggling to differentiate between baby’s heart rate and mine on the monitors.
I ended up in a full-fledged panic attack then. I started screaming when contractions would peak and may or may not have told my husband that I was dying multiple times.
One nurse had me flip onto my side and put an oxygen mask on me while another was still frantically trying to find baby on the monitor. Although I was panicking, I still remember looking at my husband and realizing he was far too calm - smiling even. It’s the only thing that kept me sane.
I asked him later why he was so chill during that chaos, and he said there was another nurse in the room. The two nurses with me were so focused on their job - one finding baby’s heart and the other trying to get me to calm down and take deep breaths in the oxygen mask - that they weren’t taking in the whole picture. The third nurse was standing back watching everything and she apparently called the OB team back in. She told them that although they had just checked me, she was sure the baby was actually coming now.
Right about that time, my body started pushing. It’s called Fetal Ejection Reflex. I’ve heard about it. I’ve seen it happen to my birth clients. But absolutely nothing prepares you for the moment it happens to you. The pressure was unbelievable, and my body completely took over with no help whatsoever from me.
The nurse holding my oxygen mask was caught off guard by how abruptly I stopped screaming and realized I was bearing down instead. She quickly pushed my leg aside to look and said, “Well, mama… is this the position you want to push in? Because it looks like we’re there.”
It had only been about 15 minutes since I was checked at 7 cm and honestly, my brain couldn’t even process what was happening. The nurse asked me to take a few breaths and try to stop pushing so they could break down the bed, but I couldn’t. My body was pushing so hard, I couldn’t even catch my breath.
The OB then said she wasn’t worried about breaking down the bed and to just let my body do what it needed to do.
Just when I thought I would pass out from the pain and not being able to breathe, I finally got a break from the contractions. It only lasted a minute or so, but it was enough for me to take a few breaths and for the medical team to break down the bed.
After a short break, I started pushing again. Despite the fact that I could very clearly feel what was happening, my brain was still in panic mode. I was convinced this wasn’t really happening and that I wouldn’t be able to push the baby out. I kept saying I couldn’t do it and I needed someone to help me.
A nurse told me to reach down and feel the baby’s head crowning.
I finally managed to muster the strength and courage to push my baby the rest of the way out - only about 10 minutes of pushing altogether.
The baby was covered with a towel and placed on my chest. While I admired my precious new love, my mom ran out to the waiting room where my daughter was waiting. We had decided to let her be the first to peek and announce the sex of the baby.
We had a baby BOY!
A little while later, it was time to cut the cord, and I said I wanted to do it myself.
He was weighed at 8 lbs 11.4 oz - my biggest baby by almost a pound - and I had done it completely naturally!
My dad came in with the kids to meet our new little guy and they were totally smitten right from the start.
Once my parents left with the big kids, the chaos was over and I asked the nurse the official time of birth. I was shocked to hear 10:21 PM - just under 5 hours from when my water broke!
I looked down at my little Baby Bear, and said, “Well… that escalated quickly!”
A special thank you to Krista with Seed & Stem Photography for these beautiful birth photos!